youre lurking in front of me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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