Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
