I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
