what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
