u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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