I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize