just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
