So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
