Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
