you win again, gameday.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
