you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
