K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
