We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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