no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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