Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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