On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.