were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.