Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go