i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
