WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize