I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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