she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
