Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
