i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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