I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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