This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
