Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
