You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
