Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I will die if light touches me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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