puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
