DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
