Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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