i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
