You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize