don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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