why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your penis caused this!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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