Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
