Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
