can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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