It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Randomize
