At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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