My hair reeks of homosexuality.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize