I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
