so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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