Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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