is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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