I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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