i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
