I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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