saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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