so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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