she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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