Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
