i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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