Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
