I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize
